don't lie lynn, you drank while brit brit was in the womb...

For those of you that know me...I've always got the story. This one involves my brief meeting and conversing with none other than Lynn Spears. Yes, you can touch me later.

A few years back at my old shitty job at slush, I had the pleasure (and I do mean, pleasure) of meeting the woman responsible for bringing our favorite curb side trash check girl into this world. While there is truth in jest, I am serious when I say that Lynn Spears was a very sweet, polite and very well taken care of individual. She chatted with me for quite some time. Her OTHER daughter, Jamie Lynn was doing a photo shoot for Elle Girl magazine in my shop. While the photogs shot away, Lynn and I chatted it up. She asked me where I came from, how I spelled my name (with an I, thank you) and that her son and I shared the same name. I'm standing there and all I can think about is the size of Brit-Brit's head and how it must have hurt coming outta poor Lynn. Like, tell me that bitch didn't scream when that melon was rippin through the vajay-jay. You have to admit, Brit's got a noggin on her. But my personal opinion is this. Lynn Spears has to be or had to be an alcohol (or at this point is hittin the bottle again)...drinking and kickin her heels up while poor Britney was just a fetus...(Ya see where I'm going with this kids?) Let me tell you, there's no way that Brit-Brit got that ginormous head from mother nature...oh, no, Lynn had to be boozin during pregnancy. That's the only excuse for a dome peice that size. It's fuckin disgusting...the size of Brit's head...I just can't get over it...for real-real, not play-play. I'll spell it out...FETAL-ALCOHOL-SYNDROME baby.

So while people might be blaming poor Britney's behaviour on post partum (sp?) or K-Fed's cheating skeetin' ways...I'd like to point partial blame on Mama Lynn. Blood might be thicker than water, but liquor always run's deeper into the veins.

Brit, blame Mama for the head and for your partying ways.